Talk about feeling stuck! Peter, Paul and Mary’s distress-call melody, Rock My Soul in the Bosom of Abraham, illuminates a sense of entrapment. “So high I can’t get over it, so low I can’t get under it, so wide I can’t get around it, Oh, rock my soul.” At least that’s the way I interpret those lyrics; someone is crying out.
Loss. That’s how it began; with loss. I lost my mobility for a while—ten years to be exact. I went from a 5k runner to a sedentary pseudo-corpse because my hips were no good. The congenital defect that laid dormant most of my life, woke up, plagued me and had me begging for mercy. So, I experienced my first hip replacement.
The second hip replacement was five years later, but what I’m sharing today is not the life-altering surgeries I had, it’s the stuff in between. When you happily see yourself one way for decades then bam, you must deal with the new version of yourself.
You fill in the blanks: So, I was ______, then I became ______, and it is good. It’s not easy by any means. You must dig deep to accept the new you and believe it is good. Not accepting what you have become is equal to not living and therein lies a whole other sack of worms for another day.
The mental anguish of the loss of mobility I felt, coupled with the physical pain, was humbling. Out of sheer boredom and disgust over what I could no longer do, I picked up a pen. Whoever said writing is cathartic knew their way around frustration. My novel, What Matters Most was written from the standpoint of loss. She had lost everything that meant anything to her just as I felt I had. Thank heavens I speak now from the other side of that ocean of agony. I emerged (with God’s help) a different version of myself, so did my protagonist, Meagan Morris.
Meagan didn’t ask for the losses that hit her, beginning at a young age. She coped, endured, sustained and shifted the energy of the loss to things that remained in her life. She took one hour at a time until she could think about taking one day at a time and so on.
I believe there is a “Meagan” inside all of us. Some may view her as an underdog, an unsung heroine or a servant, if they are watching from the outside. Others, familiar with loss, see a realist, a survivor and an independent woman with laser sharp focus on her goals.
If you are familiar with loss and have filled in your won blanks, I'd like to hear from you. Until then, this is Helen Bea Kirk signing out.
Helen Bea Kirk is the author of What Matters Most; a story of reclaiming what's yours.
"I loved the interaction between King and Meagan and how King shows his feelings toward Meagan who secretly feels the same. I'm glad the story ended how it did. A lovely ending for a fantastic story."
Hi, I'm Helen Bea Kirk. Welcome to my blog. I write about what I write about; the motivations behind the script.
"This story made me laugh and smile a lot. It was light hearted in places but also packed a punch too."
"Once I started reading it, I couldn't put it down."
"A Hallmark movie of a book. You knew the ending right from the start, but had no idea how you would get there! The journey was filled with twists, turns, and surprises."
"The story made you think this could be true."
"I loved the author's creative imagination that led me on this amazing adventure and fell in love with the characters. Definitely a must read."
"I enjoyed many aspects about What Matters Most, but most importantly I enjoyed its quick pace. Meagan’s character was one of my favorites."
When your body is miles away from the mainland, immerse your mind in a Helen Bea Kirk adventure!